Yesterday I took the boys over to Barnes and Noble to play with the train table in the children's section. The last time I took the boys there, it was a disaster. Let me clarify, LEAVING was a disaster. Playing there was actually not that bad. Luke will stay right at the table while I chase Gavin around, replacing all the books he rips off the shelves and making sure he doesn't cause too much damage. But when it was time to go, melt down city. I didn't have my stroller with me, so long story short, I ending up carrying two kicking and screaming boys out of there, one under each arm. And as I left, I could feel the eyes of pity as every head whipped around to see where the screaming was coming from.
So I tried something new, now that I know what to expect from Luke when it is time to go. Before we went into the bookstore, I said to Luke, "We are going in to play with the train table. We will stay there for a little bit. But when it is time to go, there will be no kicking or screaming. Understand?" I say this in my firm but loving voice. "I understand," Luke replies. OK then off we go. I get a little resistance from Luke when it is time to go, but remind him of our conversation. He cooperates, and leaves without making a scene. Will this work all the time? One can hope, but I know better. But, I will put it in my "mommy" tool box and keep using it.
What are your bomb defusing methods?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
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2 comments:
Go Ali! Setting expectations really helps. It also helps if the expectations at a certain place are always the same (ie - we ALWAYS ride in the cart @ Target/grocery store, not just when Mommy takes us). I also try to make sure to praise the kids for a job well done, and what specifically was good ("I liked the way you walked next to mommy" or "You did a great job sharing today")
Sometimes I offer rewards for good behavior/listening (a sticker on a chart @ home, getting to choose what is for lunch or a special activity/game when we get home). Or I tell them that because they were good today we might be able to do it again sometime - if it is something they would want to do again (doesn't work well for the post office, doctor).
Making sure the kids are well fed helps too, as we are all grumpy when we are hungry.
But sometimes I am still the one with the two screaming kids begging for cookies and acting like they are being kidnapped. Can't win 'em all...
Lollipops.
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